Overview
It is in this catalogue because the cards decide almost nothing and the counting decides everything. A hand of Turtle King is a tally of who has drunk how much and who is therefore one bad deal from walking away, and keeping that tally on a napkin while the table argues is exactly the chore an app removes.
The name is a joke at the loser's expense. A turtle pulls its head in, so calling turtle is admitting you would rather drink now than find out later — and the last player standing, the one who did it least, is crowned the Turtle King.
Setup
A pack of cards, a cup, and a jug of water. Agree the drinks limit before anything else, because it is the length of the evening: six is the usual number, four makes a quick game, and anything past eight is a commitment.
Agree three more things while everybody is still sober enough to argue. Whether a showdown compares the cards added together or only the highest one. Whether an ace is the lowest card on the table or the highest. And whether the cup grows each time a deal reaches a showdown — it normally does, ordinary to large to extra large, and stays at the largest once it gets there.
Give every player a column on the sheet. The app counts drinks upward and marks a player out when they reach the limit.
How to play
Deal two cards face down to each player. Every player may pick up exactly one of their own cards and look at it. The other stays face down, unseen by anybody, including its owner.
Once everybody has peeked, put the cup in the middle and start pouring. The pour is slow and deliberate — that is the clock.
At any moment while the water is rising, any player may call turtle. That player concedes on the spot. The pouring stops, they drink whatever is in the cup, the cards are collected, and a fresh deal begins. Only the player who called drinks, and nobody's cards are shown.
If the cup fills to the top and nobody has called, every player turns both cards face up together. The lowest hand loses the showdown.
The whole difficulty is that you are betting on a card you have never seen. A peeked king is not safety, because the hidden card may be a two and the hand is compared as a whole. A peeked three is not doom either, and the player who concedes on a three while holding a hidden ace has paid for nothing.
Scoring
The sheet records drinks, and only drinks. One cell per player per deal.
| What happened | Drinks recorded |
|---|---|
| Called turtle and conceded | 1 |
| Lost the showdown | 2 — the full cup, and one more for sitting through it |
| Anything else | 0 |
The second drink is why holding out is expensive. A player who concedes early has bought their way out of the deal for a single cup; a player who sat through the whole pour and then turned over the lowest hand pays twice for the privilege.
Every deal ends with exactly one player drinking — either the one who called, or the one who lost the showdown. A deal with no number recorded anywhere has not finished.
Reaching the limit is out. A player whose drinks total reaches six is eliminated immediately. Exactly six is out, not safe. Their column stays on the sheet, greyed, and takes no further deals.
Among the players still in, the lowest total is the one in front. That is the whole leaderboard.
Ending the game
The game ends when one player is left. Everybody else has reached the limit and stepped away from the table, and the survivor takes the crown and the title.
Where two players went out on the same total, the one who lasted longer places higher. Having drunk six by the fourth deal is a worse evening than having drunk six by the twelfth, and the sheet says so.
Common variations
Some tables forbid the peek altogether, which removes the last shred of information and makes the game pure nerve. Others deal three cards and let a player see one, which widens the gap between what you know and what you hold. Groups in a hurry pour one extra-large cup from the start and switch the ladder off entirely.
The drink is water in the game as it is usually played, and the forfeit is the volume rather than the contents. Substitute whatever the table likes; the counting does not change.
Scoring at a glance
| Who wins | Last standing |
|---|---|
| Played to | 6 points by default |
| Score sheet | Counting up to or down from a limit |
| Typical round score | 0 – 2 |
| Negative scores | Never — scores only go up |
| Worth knowing | A cell holds the drinks that player took in that deal, never their running total. Conceding is one, losing a showdown is two, and everybody else takes a nought — every deal ends with exactly one player drinking, so a deal with no number in it anywhere is an unfinished deal. |
Turtle King — score sheet
Worked example
Settings: default — Drinks before you are out6, Lowest hand at a showdown drinks twiceon, The cup grows when nobody concedesOrdinary, then large, then extra large, A concession resets the cupon. Players: Anna, Ben, Cara.
| Deal | Cup | What happened | Anna | Ben | Cara |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Ordinary | Nobody called; Cara lowest at the showdown | 0 | 0 | 2 |
| 2 | Large | Nobody called; Cara lowest again | 0 | 0 | 2 |
| 3 | Extra large | Ben called turtle | 0 | 1 | 0 |
| 4 | Ordinary | Nobody called; Cara lowest — Cara is out | 0 | 0 | 2 |
| 5 | Large | Nobody called; Ben lowest | 0 | 2 | — |
| 6 | Extra large | Nobody called; Ben lowest | 0 | 2 | — |
| 7 | Extra large | Ben called turtle — Ben is out | 0 | 1 | — |
| Total | 0 | 6 | 6 |
The cup grows through deals 1 and 2, resets after Ben concedes in deal 3, and climbs again to sit at extra large from deal 6 onward. Cara reaches exactly six at deal 4 and takes no cells afterwards; Ben reaches six at deal 7.
Expected standings: Anna 0, rank 1 — winner, the only player still in. Ben 6, rank 2, eliminated at deal 7. Cara 6, rank 3, eliminated at deal 4. the game is over, because one player remains.
House rules and settings
Every table plays Turtle King a little differently. These are the 8 rules groups argue about. Each one is a setting in the app — and changing it recalculates a match that is already in progress, which is the thing no other score keeper does.
Drinks before you are out: what is the default in Turtle King?
How many drinks knock a player out. Landing exactly on the number is out, not safe. Six is the usual figure; drop it to four for a short game, raise it for a long evening.
Default: 6. Adjustable from 3 to 12 in steps of 1.
In the app: “Drinks before you are out”.
Cards dealt to each player: what is the default in Turtle King?
How many cards each player receives face down. Two is the standard game. More cards make the hidden part larger and the guessing wilder.
Default: 2. Adjustable from 2 to 4 in steps of 1.
In the app: “Cards dealt to each player”.
Cards you may look at: what is the default in Turtle King?
How many of your own cards you are allowed to peek at before the pouring starts. The rest stay face down until the showdown, and the gap between what you know and what you hold is the whole game.
Default: 1. Adjustable from 1 to 3 in steps of 1.
In the app: “Cards you may look at”.
Hands are compared by: what are the options in Turtle King?
How the showdown decides who was lowest. Adding the cards rewards a player who peeked at a middling card and gambled; comparing only the highest card makes one good card enough to feel safe.
Default: The cards added together. Two options:
In the app: “Hands are compared by”.
Aces count as: what are the options in Turtle King?
Whether an ace is the worst card on the table or the best. Low aces make a peeked ace a reason to concede immediately, which is the livelier game.
Default: One, the lowest card. Two options:
In the app: “Aces count as”.
Lowest hand at a showdown drinks twice: on or off in Turtle King?
The player with the lowest hand empties the cup and then takes a second one for having sat through the whole pour rather than conceding. Switching this off makes holding out far cheaper and the table far quieter.
Default: on.
In the app: “Lowest hand at a showdown drinks twice”.
The cup grows when nobody concedes: what are the options in Turtle King?
A deal that reaches a showdown pours the next one into a bigger cup, up to the largest, where it stays. This is the pressure that stops a table of cowards sitting still all night.
Default: Ordinary, then large, then extra large. Three options:
In the app: “The cup grows when nobody concedes”.
A concession resets the cup: on or off in Turtle King?
Whether the next deal goes back to the ordinary cup once somebody has called turtle. Leaving it switched on means a single nervous player spares everyone; switching it off means the evening only ever escalates.
Default: on.
In the app: “A concession resets the cup”.
Variants of Turtle King
Sudden turtle
The first player to concede in the entire game is the Turtle for the night and wears something silly. Nothing about the scoring changes; the shame is the point.
Blind king
Nobody may look at any card at all. Set Cards you may look at to its minimum and treat the peek as forbidden by agreement — the game becomes pure nerve with no information whatever.
Long pour
One extra-large cup from the first deal and no ladder at all. Set the cup ladder to one size. Deals are slower, the decision is harder, and the game is much shorter.
Turtle King is also known as
Turtle, King of Turtles, Call Turtle, Water Turtle. These are the same game — the rules and the score sheet above apply to all of them.
Keep score offline
The sheet above works in your browser. Cardzo for iPhone remembers your players, survives a closed tab, and works in a field with no signal.